Dave gets busted!
by Akimei the Twisted
Summary: Dave's confused about why he keeps thinking of Jade, Rose and Dave talk about plushrumps and squiddles, and Dave helps Terezi with a shipping wall! What has my mind thought of now? JadexDave, cause I ship it hardcore. Oneshot. Rated for Language, sorta.


**So, I was inspired by this picture to write this little drabbly thing. This is my first story without my OC's, which will make everyone so much more happy! Extremely lame title and horrible spelling, but I'm still a novice. Everyone is so OOC! Oh well, I hope you enjoy this stupid piece of sh-t.**

**Dave gets busted!**

After waking up on his hard and sh-tty bed this morning, Dave had the disturbing image of two intertwined squiddles burned into his mind. For some reason, this made him remember Jade and John on that stupid golden ship. He was sure that his bro Egderp, oops, he meant Egbert, would have tortured both Jade and Davesprite with his f-cked up, sh-tty movies. He knew that Davesprite would be throwing down sick fires, especially since he was litterally on a boat. Davesprite would be schooling Egderp at every game, and keeping the irony in balance with his sprite powers; Dave knew that was true, given Egderp's weak gaming skills and Davesprite's overall...well, Daveness. Dave figured his favorite derpy girl, Jade, would be smiling like the adorable derpy girl he knew she was, and taking care of everyone on that giant, over glorified, peice of sh-t. He mentally laughed at all the images in his head, and almost smiled...almost.

While Dave was walking, a random sqiddle was thrust into his face. He almost flinched backward in surprise...almost, a Strider never flinches, not even at the terrifying piece of sh-t infront of his well kept poker face. He looked around the purple menace to see his ecto sibling with her arm still holding that disgusting thing to his face.

"Intersting," She muttered thoughtfully, "Your fear isn't of squiddles either."

Dave sighed, "Do you really think that thing could compare to plushrumps I've been tortured with as a kid. Everything you tried to scare me with these past two years has been complete sh-t."

"Well, I assumed by your actions in last nights dream bubble that you would be terrified of my sqiddle. I suppose my analasyss was wrong, how odd." Rose said, mainly to herself.

"Lalonde," Dave said to her, annoyed, but still poker faced, "I have no f-cking fears. I am like the superhero from one of Egderp's sh-tty movies. I have no faults, I'm just f-cking perfect like my sweet shades."

"So you say, Strider." Rose said, "but I will find out your fear. Could it be plushrumps.?"

"Plushrumps may not be as stupid as sqiddles, but I don't even blink if they come flying at me." Dave said, remembering how his bro would torture him endlessly with those small, huge a-ssed things.

"What lack of frightning features is different between the two objects?" Rose asked, analyzing said objects in her head.

"For one, plushrumps have a huge f-cking a-s. Squiddles just have sh-tty tentacles," Dave said, "Two, squiddles have those idiotic eyes. Plushrumps have elmo rapist eyes. Three, have you ever been ironically covered from toe to head in f-cking sqiddles? No. That's what I thought, Lalonde. My bro had those demonic plushrumps raining on me more than all the times you've read your sh-tty psycology books combined. When it comes to those motherf-cking plushrumps, sh-t gets serious."

"I see. So you wouldn't be afraid if I did this." She said, thrusting the familar a-s of a plushrump into his face.

Dave smirked and pushed the plushrump away fro his face, "Nice try, Lalonde, but you'd have better luck getting me to take off my shades." He walked away from his ecto sister, who was muttering calculations of something that he didn't really give a sh-t about. He continued to walk until he saw Terezi and Mayor building onto Can Town. Deciding he had nothing better to do, he joined them.

"Yo, Terezi. Mayor." He said. Mayor waved like the awesome, non-talking person he was.

"Hi Dave!" Terezi yelled, waving at where she smelt his scent. She drawing more street's on the ground while Mayor was creating another building.

"What's going on with Can Town?" Dave, who was genuinly curious, asked.

"Can Town has had a huge increase in population," Terezi said, "We're making apartment buildings."

"Cool." Dave said, "I'm guessing you need help making it ironic, right?"

"You bet, cool kid!" Terzi said, handing him some chalk. Dave took it, but felt some messed up feeling sh-t in his chest. He liked that she thought he was cool, but when anyone called him cool kid, it reminded him of Jade. He looked at the blue chalk in hand as flashes of memories came to his mind. The time he spent with her in LOFAF was amazing. Her nose and cheeks were red from the cold, but her face was constantly lit up. She dragged him everywhere with a buck-toothed smile that he found adorable. When she wasn't looking, he even let out a smile or two. She stirred something inside of him that he never really understood, and it made him feel like he was losing his cool, but he didn't mind much. It was painful when he knew she was going to have to shoot him. He couldn't imagine the pain she would feel taking his life, but that made thier time together more precious to him. He had to admit, as uncool as it was, he-

"D4V3!" Terezi yelled, interupting his thoughts. His eyes widened as he looked at her.

"What are you thinking about?" She questioned. Dave quickly put on his best poker face, not that she could see it anyway.

"Nothing important." He said, looking down at where he was drawing only to see the words 'Jade Harely+Dave Strider' written. He immediantly took the edge of his cape and erased it all he could, and replaced it with a poorly drawn plushrump and sqiddle ontop of eachother. It wasn't very ironic, but it was the best he could do under pressure.

"Ummm...Ok?" Terezi said confused, "Wanna help me with my shipping wall?"

"Sure." Dave said, walking toward a wall full of sh-tty drawings of pairings. "So what quadrant are we working on today?"

"I'm thinking 'Matesprite'." Terezi said,"You know like the 'like like' ships."

"I know what they are. Don't remind me of Karkat's sh-tty rom-coms." Dave said, inwardly having a flash of horror. Terezi laughed and began to draw a picture of Aradia and Sollux. Once she was done, She handed him her red chalk.

"Color in Aradia. I'm gonna work on the next one." She said, taking another stick of red chalk and some green chalk. He began to color in the poorly drawn picture when he heard the ever so familiar voice of Karkat.

"F-CK!" Karkat yelled. Terezi set her chalk down and faced Dave.

"I think I'm gonna go check on Karkles." She said, running off. Dave turned to where Mayor was, but he was gone. Dave sighed and took a look at Terezi's latest drawing. He recognised his shades right away.

_'So this is me' _He thought. _'Who is that, then?' _Dave looked at the picture. He couldn't make much sense of it until he saw a crudely drawn devilbeast. Dave fought his blush as he facepalmed.

"Terezi, what messed up sh-t is going through your head?" He muttered. He decided to take a small walk to a more secluded area, and stood in a corner of an empty room and sighed. He didn't know what was happening with his head. Jade just seemed to be everywhere. He wanted to see her so badly in his dreams. H-ll, he would even settle for seeing Egderp now, but he's much rather see his derpy ecto sister. He was concerned to say the least. If Davesprite really was just like him, would he be thinking of Jade like this.

_'Oh, right.' _Dave thought bitterly_ 'Davesprite has the real motherf-cking thing.' _Then, the thought came to him. What if he was putting the moves on Jade? What if he Jade all to himself in the corner of that stupid boat? Most importantly, What if he got Jade to fall for him? Dave felt something in his left hand snap. He looked down to see the blue chalk from earlier. He tossed it to the side, and decided to think better thoughts. He thought about her innocent smile, the way she always did things for others, when she thought he was flushed from the cold and got worried. He thought about all the things they did together, and her in general. All of her lame puns and attempts to be cool. It was enough to make him smile, which he did. He finally decided he-

"A-hem" He heard his ecto-sibling voice mutter. He turned around to face her, Terezi, and Karkat.

"What do you want?" He said, his poker face quickly returning. Rose smirked and Karkat laughed like an idiot. Terezi was confused.

"What's got you smirking?" Dave asked in his usual cool tone. Karkat laughed more as Rose whispred something to Terezi.

"You mean that Jade?" Terezi asked her. Dave was confused. What the h-ll were they talking about Jade for?

"I must say you are quite the artist." Rose said, slightly giggling. Dave turned around to see that he had written 'Jade and Dave, Together Forever' inside of a giant motherf-cking heart.

"This isn't what it looks like!" He yelled, trying to cover it up. "I was just..." Rose and the others just laughed and left. Dave walked next to the thing that he had drawn, and hit his head against the wall. Jade Harely better love him like he loves her. Otherwise, he just ruined his cool kid reputation for nothing.


End file.
